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K**V
Amazing book for anyone interested in marriage and long relationships
Wow! Absolutely loved this book I must say.When I got this book, I wasnt sure Id love it. I know many people recommended it but after reading the negative reviews I was a tiny bit hesitant. But I am so GLAD I bit the bullet.I recommend this for anyone interested in having a long lasting relationship and many years of a beautiful marriage, either one you are currently in or one you want in the future. These truly do seem the keys to make most marriages last for sure. Even the ways conflict is handled is EXACTLY what I been asking for and EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is the way conflict should be handled.Another pro: the book exercises are very helpful. After reading the questions and surveys I found them extremely helpful in identifying the core issues or positives in a marriage. People don't realize you are A TEAM when you are married. Its YOU 2 first, and this book preaches that.Also the 7 principles themselves I found to be very true and reading the studies as examples were quite helpful. I also appreciate how the book provides practical examples and tips on HOW to bring up certain topics, what to say, what to do in certain marital situations.The only complaint I have about this book is it doesnt seem to go into too much when to truly call it quits in a marriage. I absolutely agree that in most cases people call it quits far too early and people end what could have been such a beautiful thing for silly reasons that can be resolved or learn to co-exist peacefully, but I will say in some fairly rare situations there are times where a marriage simply wont work. I wish the book delved into that a bit more of what are the signs that your marriage really needs to end. But I would say that is a fairly rare case and again MOST of the time it can be improved with many of the exercises and points made in the bookMy other gripe is that the pages are so thin that it doesnt withstand the wrath of my highlighter! I wish it was a tiny bit thicker because I have to be very gentle with how I highlight so it doesnt bleed through... and trust me, I highlighted A TON in this book.So helpful
G**I
Transformative
Just finished a 2.5 year journey reading this book with my partner and it has saved us immensely. Thank you! We pass it on...
M**R
Every married couple should read
I bought two copies of this book for my husband and me to read through simultaneously. Even though we’ve been married for 20 years, There is lots we have never talked through- before this book! The discussion topics were helping us work through conflict but also get better at understanding and complementing each other. Every married couple should read and talk through this book!
Y**
Good
There is some good exercice applicable on the spot. It can be used daily. I recommend it ! Can be read everywhere at anytime
L**A
It should be required reading
This book should be required reading for married couples. It is honest, practical, and besides being informative, it is a tool you can use right away to get to know each other better and definitely communicate better.
J**E
Interim Review: 7/2/2017:
Seeing a marriage counselor and he said he uses this book and its tenets all the time because it's so effective, based on scientific research. I got one each for my husband and myself. We enjoyed doing the exercises at the end of Chapter 4. I read the hopeful parts of the book, the truly practical things couples do to improve and enrich their marriages and, thus, their lives.Sadly, then I read the chapter on "why couples don't make it." Shoot...they mostly apply to us. I analyze and nag too much, my husband is critical and snide all the time and we've let our friendship dwindle to low ebb. We've been married for over 2 decades and it's hard to see us change enough and in enough time to avoid divorce. We're both that miserable.The beauty of the book is that it provides excellent analysis and descriptions of both success and failure in marriage: literally, the author and all professionals who apply these principles can predict whether or not a couple will be able to resolve their conflicts successfully or not within a very short period of time based on how they treat each other. Certainly, the marriages that can seem destined to failed can be turned around if both spouses embrace the process and are willing to work on THEMSELVES and not so much try to "fix" their spouses. So clearly explained, all problems (and ALL marriages encounter problems...you newlyweds are kidding yourselves if you don't believe this) can be divided into the Solvable and Unsolvable.Obviously, by definition, most Solvable Problems can be solved. And it doesn't have to be that Unsolvable Problems lead inevitably to divorce. Sometimes the problem can't be changed by either party such as one becoming ill with cancer or diabetes and the other can't abide having a spouse who is ill. But even having a "mixed marriage" such as 2 conflicting religions can be worked out if they ignore their families' and friends' condemnation and agree to adhere to either or both religions--together or separately--and doing the same for children.Even couples who can't agree on whether or not to have children or cannot procreate themselves to the sorrow of either or both spouses can be resolved well enough to stay together and be happy. If nothing else, Unsolvable Problems can make the marriage stronger if the parties turn to each other in love and for support instead of turning away from each other in anger or sorrow.It's all a matter if you require to get your own way on every issue or allow yourself to build up ginormous resentment by always being the one who caves in to your spouse's demands, supposedly just to keep the peace. That's not a peaceful existence.Right now, I'm not sanguine that it'll work but my husband and I will both give it the ol' college try. I'll keep you posted.
J**E
Great book if both parties are willing to read
Amazing, insightful book that frames things in a clear and neutral manner. Unfortunately, if your spouse isn't willing to also read it, it won't solve anything. I just googled how to file for my divorce in my state, but the book was still 10/10.
D**S
Book
Easy to read
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